BURBANK, CA -- Entertainment industry sources say that Fox News is currently in a bidding war with CNN over broadcast rights to a new Hollywood/Pentagon production called American Invasion, in which viewers will select the next countries for American forces to invade.

The show will invite guest hosts such as Rush Limbaugh to interview Washington insiders, who will attempt to make the case for a particular invasion, followed by audience questions and phone-in poll.

Pentagon officials have assured the American people that strong audience support for a particular invasion will “factor in strongly” to the final decision as to which nation or nations will be invaded in the 2004 season.

“It's American Idol meets Survivor," a Pentagon spokesperson told the press during a briefing hosted by producer Jerry Bruckheimer in Beverly Hills, "in which most of the tribes don’t survive.”

In a statement read to reporters at the briefing, President George W. Bush gave his blessing to the show and promised the American people that future invasions will be the result of the most democratic decision-making process in history.

During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.

Major General
Smedley Butler, USMC,
1933