"I wouldn't go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket."
– Major General Smedley Butler, USMC, from a speech given in 1933


Bush Administration Toppled in Popular Uprising

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Former President George W. Bush claimed he was kidnapped by “international-looking soldiers” on the night of September 10 and flown under armed guard to an abandoned Soviet military installation on the outskirts of Minsk, Belarus today in a live interview conducted by radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh.

In Washington, Coalition spokespersons dismissed the former chief executive’s assertions as “hollow” and “self-serving.”

“He signed a letter of resignation, and we have that letter,” UN Special Forces administrator Hans Blix told reporters outside the Capitol Building, where the Senate was expected to announce that Al Franken would be the interim American president.

Former Texas Congressperson Tom DeLay, in hiding, appeared on the O’Reilly Factor to dispute the official version of the events that led to the overthrow of the illegimate Republican Administration.

“I spoke to George only that very evening,” DeLay claimed, “and he told me there was no way he would surrender to a hanging posse from that two-bit debating society!”

“He acted to avoid a bloodbath,” said former UN head of Iraq’s Food for Oil program Denis Halliday. “The people of the United States have turned a corner in their struggle for freedom, and we have been proud to do our part to help them.”

Disturbing reports continued to emerge from beyond the Beltway of vigilante bands hunting down former members of the Republican party and trying them in secret military courts as enemy combatants.

Head of UN Special Forces Gen. Anthony Zinni met with the new Joint Chiefs of Staff this afternoon to appoint an interim governing council and to begin to assess the damage caused by almost four years of the brutal Bush/Cheney regime.

According to UN sources, under consideration to become members of the Council
were US Congresswoman Barbara Lee, former Iraq weapons inspector Scott Ritter, former US Attorney General Ramsay Clark, former President Jimmy Carter, former California congressperson Pete McCloskey, Los Angeles Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Green Party standard bearer Peter Camejo, personal growth guru Deepak Chopra, and columnist and former Reform Party candidate for President Pat Buchanan.

“It’s important for this campaign to have an American face,” French foreign minister Jacques Villepin reminded viewers on Meet the Press last Sunday.
“Everyone is agreed that Americans should be placed at the highest levels of the new government.”

Meanwhile, interim American President Al Franken called for calm, and an end to the assault on the civil and human rights of former Republican party members,
promising a transparent and open war crimes trial for high-ranking Republicans close to the former Administration.

Franken, on the set of his new reality TV show, “Who Wants to be President?”
vowed to carry out the will of the UN-appointed Governing Council until the situation on the ground stabilized and free and fair elections could be ensured.

UN Special Forces volunteers fanned out into major American cities this afternoon
in an attempt to win the hearts and minds of the American people, handing out decks of cards with names and pictures of the 52 most wanted Republicans and a reward of one million Euros for information leading to the capture of Former Vice-President Richard Cheney.

In Santa Cruz, California today, UN Special Forces were greeted with flowers
as they marched through the city to thunderous cheers. Euphoric Californians toppled an effigy of George W. Bush as the troops passed, hailing them as liberatorsand welcoming their offer to rejoin the world community.