Bush has 'faith' that weapons will be found

President George W. Bush, in a speech before business leaders yesterday, compared his belief that weapons of mass destruction will be found in Iraq to his religious faith.

"There is no actual, hard evidence that Jesus Christ will come back and rule over the Earth either," Bush said, "but I believe it as a matter of faith."

"Likewise, there has also been no clear evidence that would stand up in court to prove that Osama bin Laden planned the 9/11 attacks, but again I simply believe he did."

Bush, in response to questions from the audience, said he also felt confident that the missing aviatrix Amelia Earhart would "someday be found, most likely alive and well."

The President went on to praise O.J. Simpson, saying that he had faith that O.J. would one day find the real killers of his wife and Ron Brown.

"You must have faith first, then the truth will be revealed," Bush concluded, explaining why he supports sending American evangelical missionaries into Iraq rather than UN weapons inspectors.